The Corrections: Masochist? Maybe

There is a storm. A spinning twister of anguish, freezing acidic rain of tears, bolts of anger striking, followed by overwhelming claps of sorrow. Well not exactly. I just thought that was a good metaphor.

I went out to the South Ferry today to see the Statue of Liberty. Oversleeping like I have grown accustomed to on weekends, I was unable to get to the ferry in time to see both the Statue and Ellis Island. Oh well, c'est la vie. I plan to go back and see the island, but I'm not to sure how much I want to.

On the ferry over I saw the statue. In my mind the sun was rising and glinting off the torch. The short ride stretched and multiplied from minutes to weeks. It was already cramped on the deck, with winds biting and the boat tipping as everyone gathered on one side. I could feel that I could see the welcoming arms of a bright city, but the boat was turning away, to a small island with large fences. A world that promised freedom to outcasts, but had to screen them first.

I thought of the ancestors that had been on the island on their way over, and I realized that I had less of that in my history than half of the people I was travelling with. The majority of my family (that I know of) stayed in Ireland. I don't know why or how I could have imagined that today.

At the Vietnam Veterans Memorial, I cried when I read the letters etched into a wall. I don't know why tears welled in my eyes at this.

I still dream about that girl I fell in love with. Stupid, I know, but some things just can't be helped.

And the movie Mermaids did not help my mood. I don't know why I even clicked on it. Maybe Cher was calling me through my monitor...

There are some nights like tonight when I just want to lay wrapped up in blankets eating digestives, pocky, and squid and drinking hot chocolate. But then I get hungry and find out that I really don't know how to go grocery shopping as I find nothing to make a main course out of except Ramen, vegan dumplings, and tofu.