Here Come the Real "G"

There was a high school. In this school were some “G’s”, scrawny little guys who had no idea what a belt or properly fitting pants were. These poor dumb fools had no idea what they were calling themselves.

                Then there were a few who decided to have some fun. Richard, Braxton, and Amelia were their names. They went to school with these “G’s” and decided that enough was enough; they were tired of seeing the pants around the knees of these pathetic little runts. They finally made their move on Decades Day.

                In walked the three, from different entrances. Braxton walked up the front steps, Richard came in the basement, and Amelia strutted through the front door. Each one radiating power and walking with the purpose of intimidating all those around them, not that they were entirely successful.

                They met in the atrium, the place where all the delinquents hung after school. These three were bad: they were there BEFORE school. Each had on a suit tailored to perfection. Richard wore a pinstripe navy suit, Braxton a grey suit, Amelia a black suit. Each had a shirt as white as angels’ wings, and a tie as black as the devil’s pupils. Their hair was combed back to a uniform smoothness. Each had a defining accessory: Richard had his trench coat, Braxton had his fedora, and Amelia had her pocket watch. They set out for the day: Richard and Amelia to Physics, Braxton to Calculus. Surrounding all of them were guys who didn’t give a fuck, “G’s,” a few ‘50s throwback dudes, and girls embracing their vintage sluttiness in mock ‘80s attire.

                The day wore on. The three met at lunch, outside on the steps. Amelia recounted her tales of being mistaken for a guy multiple times that day to the boys. While Amelia was confused, Richard and Braxton were amused. Richard’s roaring chortle nearly drowned out Braxton’s girly giggle. Nearly. It escaped their conversation and clumsily collided with the ears of one of the “G’s.” Insulted and intrigued by the sound, the “G” came over to the three.

G: “Wut goin’ down up in hur?”

Amelia: “Excuse me?”

G: “Wut is soooo funny, you dumb ass?”

Richard to the three: “Wouldn’t that be asses?”

Braxton giggles; the “G” looks in confusion

Amelia: “What do you want, punk?”

G: “Who you callin’ a punk, dick?”

Amelia points to Richard: “Do you mean him?”

Richard: “And that’s Big Dick to you.”

G: “Wut the fuck?”

Amelia: “You got a problem with us?”

G: “Wait…are you a girl?”

Amelia does a facepalm

Richard: “Yeah, that’s Amelia.”

Amelia: “So why is it so important that you’re bothering us?”

G: “Y’all are just a bunch of pussies”

Richard: “Hey! Watch your language!”
Amelia: “Yeah you cunt-sucker, watch your fucking mouth!”

G: “What the fuck…”
Amelia: “Seriously, shut the fuck up and get out of my face.”

Richard: “Amelia…”

G: “You got a problem, bitch? Is it that time of the month for you?”

Amelia lunges at hi;, Richard stops her with his extremely long muscled arm.

G: “Gotta keep your bitches on a tight leash, man.”

Richard: “You know what, just shut up.”

Braxton: “Hey guys, come on.”

Amelia: “Nut up or shut up, Braxton.”

Braxton: “I’m just saying that it’s getting near time to go.”

Amelia wriggles out of Richard’s arm

Amelia: “Excuse me, I have to go to German. Fich dich, Arschloch.”

                The three leave the somewhat angry, but mostly confused “G” out on the steps. They walk back to their classes.

Richard: “You know, swearing is not very lady-like, Amelia.”

Braxton: “No wonder people think you’re a guy. Besides the whole lack of boobs thing.”

Amelia: “How many times do I have to tell y’all? I ain’t no lady.”

                The three go through the rest of the day.

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                At the conclusion of the school day, each of the three went to their individual after-school activities. Amelia went to Academic Team; Braxton went to track practice; Richard went to basketball practice.

                Around 17:00 they all showed up in the parking lot. Amelia and Braxton were drawing on the windows of Richard’s antique truck with expo markers. “What are you guys doing?” Richard bellowed before picking up Braxton and dropping him in the bed of his little border-jumper truck.

                The annoying little “G” approaches.

G: “You girls having a little fight?”

Richard: “Dude, just back off.”

G: “Well maybe my car is out here, you dumb shit.”

Braxton: “Where is it then?”

G: “Why is he-“

Amelia: “Answer the question.”

G: “Maybe I don’t have a car.”

Amelia: “Ah the ambiguity.”

G: “Wut?”

Amelia: “Un idiot dit ‘quoi?’ en anglais.”

G: “What?”

Amelia laughs loudly; Braxton and Richard share a confused laugh.

G: “Are y’all makin’ fun o’ me?”

Amelia: “You wouldn’t know if I was or not, would you?”

Richard: “Amelia, be nice.”

Amelia: “I’ll act however I please.”

G: “Y’all are just stupid.”

                The “G” starts to walk away. Amelia heads toward her black ’93 Ford Taurus SHO. She opens the back door to drop off her back pack. From a surprising closeness, the voice of the “G” returns. “You’re nothing but talk bitch. Amelia pulls out her ice-scraper from the back of her car (Leonerd) and slaps the “G” on the shoulder with the bristled brush end. The “G” yells in surprise. “Wut da fuck, bitch? You cain’t do dat to a gangsta!”

                Braxton leaps out of the bed of his truck next to the “G.” Braxton grabs him and pins his arms to his sides. Amelia stands ready with her ice-scraper, posed like she used to at baseball practice years ago. Richard stands behind Amelia, his height imposing enough to scare anyone who mocked Amelia’s makeshift weapon. “You are no GANGSTER. You are just an ignorant fool, whose cowardly pants have decided to flee,” Amelia remarked upon the “G’s” pants sliding down his legs.

                Richard navigated Braxton, still holding the “G” to the edge of the hill, where Braxton released the “G” as Amelia poked his shoulder with her ice-scraper. The “G” rolled down the hill helplessly, wailing when he landed on the tennis court.

                Richard and Amelia shared a knuckle-touch. Braxton approached Amelia ready for a high-five, but Amelia high-fived his face instead, before embracing him in an apologetic hug.