Ghangsters (No That Is Not a Typo)

                As Amelia, Richard, and Braxton lived in their triumph over the G, a shadow fell across the parking lot. It was too late for kids to be hanging around a school, though it wasn’t yet dark. Braxton looked up at the clouds like a turkey in the rain.

Braxton: It’s getting dark.

Richard: Oh really? What does the weather girl have to say about this data you have collected?

Amelia: The term is “meteorologist.”

Richard: Excuse me!

Braxton: Guys! I’m just saying that the clouds are blocking the sun rather suddenly. No need to get sarcastic about it.

Amelia: I wasn’t being sarcastic.

Richard [grinning slyly and making a steeple from his fingers]: But I was.

                The Three bickered for a bit, continuing to argue about the clouds, Braxton’s definition of sarcasm, Braxton’s femininity, and whether or not Richard and Amelia were secretly plotting to kill Braxton over the weekend.

Braxton: I’m metro-sexual! Except I couldn’t care less about clothes and shit, so I’m not. But I am! I’M NOT GAY!

Amelia: You are just one flaming-hetero.

                Up on the hill overlooking the parking lot, their arguments were carried to the ears of listeners. These listeners had seen the G go down to mess with the Three, and be pushed down the hill pants-less.  As the Three continue to bicker, they creep down the side of the hill, and advance upon the Three.

Amelia: What good would a fucking turtle do?

Braxton: Just don’t bring turtles into this!

Richard: Dude seriously. They aren’t ninjas.

                The listeners, also G’s, were now upon the Three as this argument increased in volume and decreased in sense. Braxton was the first to point out the mass of G’s surrounding the Three.

G1: What’d you bitches stop fo’?

Braxton: Uh…she’s the bitch, we’re dudes.

Amelia [slaps Braxton’s shoulder]: What do you want?

G2: That’s our bitch down thur, what did you have to go and push him down thur fo’?

Richard: Wait, I thought we were the bitches?

G3: Shut up!

Braxton: Why don’t you make me?

G2: Fine then.

                The second G moved toward Braxton with an arm raised. Braxton retreated a step, but not enough to entirely avoid the punch that landed on his collarbone. “God damn it!” he screamed into the air.

                Richard moved forward and grabbed the second G before he could land another punch on Braxton, but another came from behind him and reached up to grab his neck. As Richard and Braxton scrambled with the numerous little G’s, Amelia was batting away at the G around Richard’s neck with her ice scraper. Or at least she was until she noticed something.

                “Hey guys look! That loser’s still trying to put his pants back on!” Amelia laughed, and Braxton…made some sound resembling a laugh and chipmunk choking.

                In this momentary confusion, Richard managed to get out of the dangling G’s grip. Amelia shoved him toward his truck and pulled Braxton away, slamming him into the door of his boarder-jumper. Braxton got away first, then Richard pulled out of his parking spot. Amelia’s SHO, though was having trouble starting. She quickly locked all the doors and tried again with the key. The engine roared to life. “Thank whatever god there isn’t!” she exclaimed as she backed out of her parking space in time to see Braxton turn into the road with Richard waiting behind him. Amelia pulled in behind him and saw two of the unruly G’s climb into the back of Richard’s car in the way that only rude jerks could consider stealthily. Luckily for them Richard couldn’t hear anything over the sound of his ancient truck’s engine running. Amelia honked her car horn, and the G’s ducked. Richard waved in ignorance and drove off. Amelia groaned in exasperation and followed Richard.

                The Three were all travelling the same way, and Richard passed Braxton as soon as a second lane was available. As Richard drove by Braxton, one of the G’s popped up, and Braxton, startled, swerved and jumped the curb into someone’s yard. Richard stopped at a red light and the G’s jumped out of the truck bed and ran for Braxton. Richard saw the commotion in his mirrors, and turned right at the light and up the hill. Amelia followed, and they came in almost a full circle to meet at the top of the hill to see Braxton being chased by the two G’s. Amelia and Richard parked their cars and ran out to see the chase.

Richard: He’s a cross-country runner, he should be fine.

Amelia: He’s not that good though.

Richard: Well all he has to do is run until those guys get tired.

Amelia: Good point.

                Amelia and Richard watched from above, laughing at Braxton when they weren’t cheering him on.

Richard: So about that whole, gangster thing:  it seems like the times are a-changing.

Amelia: Yep, there’s just no respect for the classics anymore.  These guys are a ruthless swarm of crazed hooligans. Kind of like…who was that one crazy dude with the army? You know the guy in Asia? He had the cool beard.

Richard: You mean Genghis Khan?

Amelia: Yes! These guys are just Ghangsters.

Richard: Hey look! Braxton tripped!

Amelia: Ah fuck. Does this mean we have to go get him?