Be Prepared!

Yeah, I think I'm just about the best procrastinator in the world, but this time I had (sort of) an excuse. You know with the whole, graduating from high school (officially) thing. Yeah that's not a very good excuse to not write about Leslie and Richard. Maybe this will redeem me: I have been interacting with humans! Mostly just my friends, but some of them are the people I'm forced to interact with because of a stupid thing called "alphabetical order." I don't mind order, I just don't like the people I'm forced to be around from my school. BUT I DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT ANYMORE! So like I said, I've been around people. Actually the majority of people I was with (by number of people, not amount of time with each person) were my inspiration for Richard. I've been subconsciously observing them. Richard (yeah the name, and the fact that he's really tall and athletic and his nickname "Big Dick"), David (there is not a single drop of fiction in that character, he is real), Mark (the guy with hair), Braxton (the rich bastard), and Matt (the sweet one who will be the last to know). Yeah, they all get credit for inspiring the character of Dick.
So yeah. I'm going to write you guys a story! I won't give up on my deadline, I just have to actually research for the rest of "Big Dick, Little Dyke" and I am just way too lazy to do it right now. I'll write you guys a bit of a fairy tale (honestly I'm thinking of Moriarty right now and Sir Boastalot). Anywhich, I won't be writing it until after my CT scan today. Want to know about that? I'm sure you don't, but I'm going to write about it anyway. I'm getting a CT scan (or CAT scan, I don't know the difference, but they said both so I'm just confuzzled) of my skull today to see if I've grown enough bone from my bone grafting in December to do the second surgery. Surgery on what? My skull of course. Well my jaw-ish area. I'm missing two teeth (my upper lateral incisors), but they just never grew in so my dentist pulled my baby-teeth when I was 10 and said I could deal with it with when I was 18. Well I've been 18 for a while, and apparently I didn't have enough bone for the TITANIUM ROOT THEY HAVE TO SCREW INTO MY SKULL, so they had to do a bone grafting. So to recap, I had to get a portion of my skull separated, then a growth stimulant was stuck in there, 6 months later I get to have them DRILL INTO THE BONE I SPENT ALL THAT TIME GROWING, and then 4-6 months after that I get a tooth slapped on there. I didn't even include the heavy pain medications they have to put me on for that. Wow this is going on forever. Little information about me: I'm allergic to pain killers, well Acetaminophen actually, but I have a low tolerance for Ibuprofen, and I have to take arthritis medicine for pain, but for things like sugery...I get narcotics! Yeah, this shit will be fun to read when I'm recuperating.
Anywhich, expect some kind of heart-something fairy tale after I get my CT scan. It might be a little crazy, any kind of scan of my skull seems to affect my brain. I can't walk a straight line after X-Rays, not since my orthodontist apparently used me to learn how her new X-Ray machine worked.
RAWR! I NEED TO STOP RANTING ON AND ON!
But readers, I would like to leave you with one thing: Don't you forget about me!

Red Ones Bring You Up, Blue Ones Bring You Down

Are they fucking kidding me? Seriously? Here is a rant. I am not writing. Well I am writing, but this shit is real. Holy Fucking Shit is it real.
So my whole purpose for going to New York all that time ago was to work for the Coen Brothers on their new film, but that didn't work out. Then I got a job working on The Corrections and Notorious. The Corrections is not going to air.
Seriously, I spent six weeks working on that pilot. I worked for the most awesome people I have ever known. I drove around New York City for that show. I got paid to work on that show. And now they are not going to show it because HBO thinks the viewers would not be able to handle the jumping back and forth between the decades that goes on through the plot. Seriously? IT WAS BEAUTIFUL! There was rain, and a set, they were going to buy a house for the rest of the shots in Gary's house, they paid me over $2500 in the six weeks I worked there. Why did this happen? Why are they putting out yet another cop drama? WHY? Notorious had better make it, or heads will roll. Probably mine. Well actually more like implode from the disappointments of my life.

To explain the title, you need to watch St. Trinian's. I've had awesomeness today: getting my hair dyed the colour of a TARDIS (accidentally, it was supposed to be purple), I watched Bernadette and Howard get married on The Big Bang Theory and getting my car resurrected from an exploded 18-year-old fuel pump. Sadly it had to be followed by this tragedy as I decided to Google any possible preview for the show I worked on. I fornicating hate this.

Farewell to Horton II

Horton II was my Zune. Yes a Zune. I'm sorry it had to come to this. I do prefer Apple over Windows, mostly because my PC in Virginia (Janet) always decided to download so-called "updates"  that were actually viruses even after I turned the automatic downloads off. Now my laptop right now (Shane) runs Windows 7. I don't hate it, because it's my life now, but it's more of a love-hate relationship. Shane does stupid things for no reason, I have to put up with it, then I found out Shane can do something extremely cool, and I am happy.
Back to Horton II. He was a black Zune, 8 gigabytes, with a cracked screen. I wish my cousin had never sat on him. He was a replacement for my first Zune (Horton) that I got for my fifteenth birthday, which slowly died. I still don't know why. I don't even think Bill Gates would know if he cared enough to see exactly why people stopped buying Zunes himself. The buttons slowly stopped working, one by one. Well there really are only 3 buttons on a Zune, so when the play button stopped working I'd had enough. I got a free replacement, and I think Horton's body has been donated to science. That's what he would have wanted. My replacement was Horton II. He lasted a long time, even with the cracked screen. Today he was lost. I don't know what happened to him. I don't know where he is. All I can think is that he must have fallen out of my coat pocket when I was walking between Saks, Bergdorf Goodman, and Barneys in the 80 degrees we had today here in New York. He is somewhere on the streets. He's been on the streets before, twice I saved him from being run over by a taxi. But now he is out there for good. I feel horrible about losing him.
But then I remember that I planned on replacing him anyway. He was old, outdated, and unreliable. I had my eye on an iTouch since the one I want has 3 times the memory Horton had. I had saved my money so that I could buy myself a new mp3 player (specifically an iTouch), and now I have a reason to actually go out and do it. I just have to get off my butt and go to Best Buy where I have a gift card and get myself one.
But then I feel guilty about replacing Horton II so easily. He was great. He was horribly unreliable, but still good. Then I realize that I lost my headphones when I lost him. Those were the only ones I had that I thought would last me since they were the tangle-free headphones that came with my HTC Rhyme. I wonder if I can buy replacements...they were REALLY nice.
So overall I feel bad about losing Horton II. I want a new iTouch, but this recent loss makes me think if I can handle the responsibility of something so delicate? I should never have kids.
Also I saw a man giving away kittens on the street. Very Oliver and Company. I so wanted to take them home with me! Not that I am a crazy-cat-lady, but I just can't stand to see animals without a home. I was the one always bringing home strays. I couldn't go to the pound with my parents to donate something because we always ended up coming home with a new animal. I often saved the things I found. I made my dad pull over so I could get turtles off the road. I saved countless mice from my cats. Once I saved a finch one of my cats had brought into the house. I tried to nurse it back to health. I even named it: Mr. Finch. Yeah I know, very creative I was. He didn't make it sadly. But yeah, I was the rescue squad for homeless animals, and I had to remind myself: "I can't have pets in my apartment. I can't have pets in my apartment. I can't have pets in my apartment." I felt so guilty about leaving them behind.
To end this rant on a happy note: I SAW AMIR FROM JAKE AND AMIR IN BROOKLYN! HE WAS JOGGING! Dan the Van Driver and I were driving out of Brooklyn to go back to the city yet again, and there he crossed the street in front of us. I was a little confused and recognized him, but I was almost sure I had made a mistake. Then Dan the Van Driver said "I think I know that guy. He makes some funny videos on the Internet. I think he works for CollegeHumor." I was extremely happy.

No Power

The fucking power is out in my apartment. Now what am I doing squandering my precious battery of my laptop? Not to worry, I'm at Starbucks charging my laptop through an outlet and my phone through my laptop! This sucks. This place doesn't even have WiFi, so I'm using my mobile broadband. Why is the power out? I have no fucking idea. I payed my rent to ex-Roommate's aunt who signed the lease. I did everything by The Man's book, but The Man just said, "Fuck you."
Anywhich, I'm at Starbucks, hoping that no one will ask me to leave when they catch me watching Phineas and Ferb. I'll just have to make my sandwich and apple juice last until my laptop is charged.
BAh new job. I still don't like it, mostly because I don't like clothes as much as I should to enjoy the job. Although I did revel in the fact that I carried over $25,000.00 from Bergdorf across town and probably about three times as much in total since I also had to go to Gucci and Saks Fifth Avenue. I had over $4,000.00 worth of shoes in 1 bag... okay the smallest fraction of me that is a girl was in awe of the shoes. I don't mind the girls so much anymore, since apparently the younger girls are just better to talk to. Sadly we all have vowel names (Amy, Aileen, Autumn, Amelia, Olga) so we get confused. Olga calls Aileen Amelia, Aileen calls me Olga, and Autumn calls Olga Aileen. Of course I just say "yes" to whatever name nowadays because of the confusion.

Untitled

I really couldn't think of a title since today I just kept a list of the things I thought I could rant about.
I have been watching Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead, and really all I can think about is how much Guildenstern reminds me of Jake from Jake and Amir, and the more I think about that the more I make myself think of Rosencrantz as Amir. But I'm still not sure which is which...and this is the second time I've seen it.
In the office today the Bob (known forever more as Bobert) asked if I had change from the toll roads. I got to thinking: why are there speed limits on toll roads? I mean, yes it's safe, but shouldn't it at least be higher than normal since people are paying to use it? Of course there are the tolls in Ireland where your license plate is recorded and you pay for it online afterwards...random. Also today I had to give someone back money, and apparently I gave them too much, and he complained. Why? Why complain if someone gives you too much money? Please tell me if I do that, but don't complain. It makes no sense.
I've also kind of been wasting some time. You see my job in the office is to pick of Steve's (not the Internet's) slack, but Steve (not the Internet) is awesome at his job, so I don't do much. I play with Google Maps, and lately draw on my hands. I don't know why it's so entertaining to draw stitches around my pointer finger, a fleur de lis on my middle finger, and an HRC symbol on my ring finger. I'm just getting weirder.
I'm also kind of disappointed now. I used to always think my small city was tiny. I was told it was smaller than central park, but now I've actually Googled it and found that it's bigger. I don't know why I resent my town so much. It wasn't horrible, except for my father's relatives and their friends, but it was just boring. It was not my style with nothing but civil war history and the entirety of the town focused on the high school and the apple blossom festival. I just didn't feel right there. It feels good up here, though I could do with out the cold.
I saw an incredibly awesome feet today. Bobert opened a huge UPS box that was delivered today...WITH A SPOON! Yeah, I'm easily amused.
One tiny tidbit so this doesn't seem too rambly. It's the year of the dragon in the Chinese zodiac, and all I can think of is Mushu from Mulan. A little tiny almost pathetic dragon, voiced by Eddie Murphy. BEST YEAR EVAR!

Send Out the New Girl

So I was late to work (again), but I was still the first one there (again). These crazy show biz people thinking they can just come in when they want, but still expect me to be on a timed schedule.
After about an hour and a half of chilling because I really don't have much to do there since I'm not trained enough and the set was an hour 40 minutes away by subway and bus, I was given a task: research a lamp that one of my co-workers had broken on a set a few days ago. So I researched. I didn't have any information other than that it was a Tizio desk lamp, and she gave me the piece that was damaged. No one had any idea what it was, least of all me. I think it looks like this, but I only had one piece that I think goes in the bottom since it had a plug.

I found some lamp repair shops, and a showroom for this brand and gave them to my co-worker. I was told to call them and get no one can really give you an estimate cost over the phone, but I finally got somewhere with the showroom. The representative I spoke with said she had no idea what I was talking about, but the most expensive replacement piece for a Hallogen desk lamp was $150 without any labor, and that a replacement fixture would be $395...which none of us had on hand.

 an estimate. As it turns out, if you don't know what you have, and they don't know what you have, then

Finally some of my co-workers pooled together $200. I have no idea what labor they could have done on giving me a replacement part, except handing it to me and maybe having to search for one if they couldn't find it immediately.
So I went all the way downtown to the showroom. After crossing the same street 4 times, I figured out where I was supposed to go and found the showroom. I stood in line and explained my predicament. The woman behind the counter was polite and said that it was her first day and had no idea what I was talking about and that her manager (whom I had spoken to on the phone a half hour before) was gone and would be back in about an hour. I tried to explain that I only needed a part, but she still had no idea what was going on. So I called my co-worker, who said to explain that this needed to be done as soon as possible, preferably today, and if they couldn't do it now, then I should wait for the manager to come back from lunch...